In a typical abusive relationship the abuser woos his victim with charm. He (whilst recognising that an abuser is not necessarily male) seems to take care of his victim; assisting, providing for and becoming such a source of support that the victim turns their back on their other support networks, family and friends, partly ‘encouraged’ by the abuser who points out all of the supporters’ failings and shortcomings, or undermines them.
Then when the victim is totally dependent on the abuser and with no-one there for back up, the abuser shows his true character. He has nothing to lose now, he can force his victim to do whatever he likes because there is nowhere else for them to turn. The victim is either so confused and bewildered that they stay in the situation hoping that the charming person will return and it’s all just a blip, or else they have so alienated any support that there is nowhere else to turn, or further still they are so absolutely ashamed that they feel they deserve it!
After the second world war the UK was fairly self sufficient. People had rallied together and supported each other, people grew their own food and raised their own livestock, nursed and cared for the sick or infirm, developed ways of trading and exchanging with each other outside of the usual routes.
Then the government declared that we would have a welfare state, no need to worry about any of your problems, the government will take care of you… And the people believed them. How wonderful it was to have a national health system, how fantastic that women were ‘freed’ to go out of the home and into the workplace, how lovely that the misfortunate could be cared for by the state if they lost their job or became too sick to work, now we didn’t have to worry about each other, the state would take care of it all….
And now, when we’ve all become totally dependent and we’ve forgotten how to take care of each other and the very fabric of our communities have been torn apart, now the abuser has decided that he no longer cares about us. The misfortunate have become the undeserving, the sick must stand in a long line, be experimented upon and be ridiculed for taking responsibility for their own wellbeing – they must be nursed and ‘treated’ by ‘professionals’ not their families, friends, neighbours and community, and it would seem that the days of free healthcare are numbered. Many women long to be able to take care of their home and their children, but low pay and fees for existence are so high that they must leave their children to be looked after by ‘professionals’ whilst they go out to ‘earn a living’. Everything seems to cost us money, everything must be ‘permitted’ or ‘licensed’ and yes we must pay for that. Attempts to be self sufficient are undermined – you need to apply for permission to build that house, keep that livestock, save those seeds, use that water, grow food on that land and so it goes on…
So you may say this is a crazy conspiracy theory and maybe so, it is just a theory, my own observation, but nevertheless things have turned out quite well for those in power and those without power have had their safety-net undermined to a life threatening degree….